This Christmas
Last year, after an exhausting Christmas (here and here) and my epic meltdown, I vowed to slow down for Christmas 2013. So far I've honored that, but I still feel out of balance somehow.
The last few days have ushered in winter with a bitter cold front. I left work early on Friday and spent most of the weekend in front of the fireplace. But with chasing a puppy and living out of boxes, even in the stillness everything feels chaotic and crazy. We don't even have a Christmas tree this year.
I miss having my own tree to decorate. I miss sitting by my own fireplace in the early morning hours with a cup of coffee. I miss having my own home.
I keep telling myself that next Christmas will be better. I'll have a cute little place I love and I won't be chasing a puppy around. But the thing is, I remember last year thinking the same thing. Next Christmas, I won't be so busy. Next Christmas, I can enjoy the season.
I want to be satisfied with where I am now, to soak up everything this Christmas has to offer. Because Christmas 2013? It only comes once. Next year will have it's own list of "if only's".
So here are a few things I'm enjoying this Christmas:
1. The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp.
I've tried to steal away for 20 minutes everyday, usually sitting in my car, to read a devotional for Advent. This counting to the slow, unfurling of Grace has been exactly what I need. I'll never find true contentment in a perfectly decorated tree or a Christmas that meets all of my expectations. The magic of Christmas is always found in the wonder of the Messiah.
The answer to deep anxiety is deep adoration of God. In the deep adoration of God, all of the "if only's" in my life this season fade.
2. Spending time with my sister.
Katy leaves tomorrow, but it's been nice having her home. She's been my dogsitter, which has required a lot of patience. I've come home from work many nights with a home-cooked meal and we've sat around the table playing games. It's been a good visit and I'm thankful for the time we've spent together.
3. Christmas in Colorado.
We leave on the 20th to join Katy in Colorado for two weeks. We have a list of Christmas movies to watch and maybe I can decorate her tree. And a snowy Christmas? That's something I don't get every year.
This Christmas? I guess it's not so bad after all.
(photo source here.)
The last few days have ushered in winter with a bitter cold front. I left work early on Friday and spent most of the weekend in front of the fireplace. But with chasing a puppy and living out of boxes, even in the stillness everything feels chaotic and crazy. We don't even have a Christmas tree this year.
I miss having my own tree to decorate. I miss sitting by my own fireplace in the early morning hours with a cup of coffee. I miss having my own home.
I keep telling myself that next Christmas will be better. I'll have a cute little place I love and I won't be chasing a puppy around. But the thing is, I remember last year thinking the same thing. Next Christmas, I won't be so busy. Next Christmas, I can enjoy the season.
I want to be satisfied with where I am now, to soak up everything this Christmas has to offer. Because Christmas 2013? It only comes once. Next year will have it's own list of "if only's".
So here are a few things I'm enjoying this Christmas:
1. The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp.
I've tried to steal away for 20 minutes everyday, usually sitting in my car, to read a devotional for Advent. This counting to the slow, unfurling of Grace has been exactly what I need. I'll never find true contentment in a perfectly decorated tree or a Christmas that meets all of my expectations. The magic of Christmas is always found in the wonder of the Messiah.
The answer to deep anxiety is deep adoration of God. In the deep adoration of God, all of the "if only's" in my life this season fade.
2. Spending time with my sister.
Katy leaves tomorrow, but it's been nice having her home. She's been my dogsitter, which has required a lot of patience. I've come home from work many nights with a home-cooked meal and we've sat around the table playing games. It's been a good visit and I'm thankful for the time we've spent together.
3. Christmas in Colorado.
We leave on the 20th to join Katy in Colorado for two weeks. We have a list of Christmas movies to watch and maybe I can decorate her tree. And a snowy Christmas? That's something I don't get every year.
This Christmas? I guess it's not so bad after all.
(photo source here.)
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